finding ‘IT’ elsewhere
Well I was going to write an entry a day ago about how my day wasn’t going as I had planned. I only got 3 hours of sleep, and went food shopping 45 minutes from home only to find that I had left my debit card at my computer desk. Lovely, isn’t it? Well none of these things are comparable to the current day’s issues.
The main thing on my mind is love. And I don’t mean like ‘The Notebook’ kind of love, I mean like the ‘we’re-practically-gonna-have-our-50th-anniversary kind of love. The ‘if worst comes to worst, I will be there by your side’ kind of love. And in regards to this, what happens when you find that it’s over? The reason I ask about this at all is because just a day ago, my nephew (he’s 23) IMed me and he just plainly informed me that when my mother returns from her trip to Spain and France, she will file for a divorce from my father.
Now, this doesn’t bother me as much as many think it should. Or at least, I can say that the reasons about which I am worried, are not typical. Yet, neither is my life. My parents have pretty much been married since they were about 20. My mother is 62, with a birthday coming up in Oct. and my father just turned 63 Aug. 2nd. You would think that the gloomy, overcast skies of marital upsets would pass right over my parents, but I guess not. I suppose I saw it coming, I just didn’t expect her to make such a choice at her age.
Half of me knows age has nothing to do with satisfaction in marriage, in parenthood, etc. But my mother has not had a job since she married my father, and my father is a very recent retiree. My main concern lies in their age, coupled with the financial instability such a drastic life change could make.
Another issue involves my sister, my brother, and myself- a.k.a. “The Kids”, the second of which could not actually be considered a kid as he is well into his forties. If you are wondering about my uncertainty in regards to his age, it’s because I could care less. We have bad history, and I will leave that story for another blog entry. My little sister is disabled, she was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy since birth and if my parents split, I’m not quite sure that she’d even get to stay with either parent. There is a chance she could be placed into some sort of home. She turns 18 this Tuesday, Aug. 12, and I know that this will rip her to shreds if my mother follows through on her decision. If she gets to live with any parent, it is undoubtedly going to be my mother- and although instinctively, I would prefer to move in with my father, I must go wherever my sister is going too. If I am lucky enough to have my own room when this is done with, it will be shared with a 24-hour home attendant.
Because my mother has no money and my father will undoubtedly drink through his retirement funds, my financial state will suffer tremendously. I assume my mother will split the bank balance with my father, which will provide some ease, but will not last forever. Maybe now I might actually receive some damn financial aid! My overly dependent brother will probably go wherever it is that my father will end up.
…But we’ll see if she even takes that first step. I don’t have the best relationship with my parents by far, but I want them to be happy, especially in their old age. They have lived long enough, and suffered and dealt with others long enough that if they do not find happiness in each other, they should be so deserving as to have the chance to perhaps find it elsewhere.
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